Halloween Hangover

I've always been a fan of Halloween. Not as skanky as Mardi Gras, not as overrated as Valentines Day, not as Mexican as Cinco De Mayo. It is the one time of year that consists of dressing up in a ridiculous costume, walking around with a seemingly permanent boner, and girls are able to select the absolute sluttiest clothing to make guys think that they want to have sex with you but they really don't want to have sex with you but just want you to imagine what it would be like if they did have sex with you. Great. Unlike Thanksgiving where enjoying yourself leads to bulemia, Halloween has no "real" consequences other than the standard hangover, Sharpie on the face or for those of you who trekked up to SB this year, a lingering burning sensation around your crotch. So, now what?

Halloween in itself is such a random holiday that I think that we should be able to celebrate Halloween whenever we want. Especially in college, because everyone needs an excuse to act completely irrational and drink heavily.

Trick or Treating. Obviously the older you get, the more uncool this becomes. Fuck that. When else can you get free shit going door to door? Never. So I'm suggesting that trick or treating should be an everyday thing. And I'm not just saying for candy, but for anything really. Out of toilet paper? Trick or treat for it. Need a dimebag? Trick or treat. Obviously you should probably preface by saying what you are trick or treating for, but if you're getting something free be it candy, a bong rip, or your neighbor's 15 year old daughter, it's still free. And free is good.

Street Parties. Having been to SB and the streets of Del Playa twice before, it amazes me the things that take place when you combine a massive amount of drunk fucks, Isla Vista PD, spotlights and 24 hour food joints. LMU has similar elements, minus the IVPD. Ok and spotlights. And 24 hour joints. But we do have alot of drunk fucks. See: any night where there is a bus party or an exchange. We can definitely re-create a similar atmosphere. Think convo after everyone has taken 12 shots. Or ROAR parties where everyone is drinking rather than trying to gain access to the keg. Or LipSync/Madness at Midnight where the audience is just as fucked up as the performers should be.

Dressing Up. This is an obvious one. Everyone gets a kick out of dressing up whether they admit it or not. This would result in people taking each other and themselves a little less seriously. Which at LMU, would be as welcome as bringing freshmen (college and high school) to Playa. Everyone would win. Girls can again dress up as their favorite whore while guys can look at girls who have just dressed up as their favorite whore. Nice. There's never enough Naughty Nurses, Cops, School Girls, etc. to go around.

There you have it. Ways we can celebrate Halloween on a daily basis. So the next time you see that group of creepy Von Der Ahe Communications Building/Burns Fine Arts Center lurkers with long hair, V-Neck white shirts, tight jeans, beat-up Converse sneakers, cigarettes, guitars and skateboards, don't point and laugh. They're not freaks or suicidal. They're just celebrating Halloween.

-JV

 

Comments

[Alyssa Holden]

"or for those of you who trekked up to SB this year, a lingering burning sensation around your crotch."

Quite possibly one of the funniest sentiments ever stated.

[Jay]

good shit gerard