GLOW (The Death of the Foam Party)

Posted by John

First: the foam party is canceled this year. I know. I cried too.  Apparently, the prestigiously-named "Committee on the Status of Women" here on campus refused to sign off on the event this year due to their fear that girls might be groped during the party. I personally feel sorry for the freshman class of '11 (who, by the way, the writers of this website *do not* hate as suggested by a freshman girl in a recent conversation with Sanjay) will never get to experience the sheer joy that was the annual Sig Ep foam party, and yes, I think that the reason it was canceled is a little ridiculous. First, it is unknown if the committee even received a single formal complaint about a girl being "groped" during the previous foam party. Second, lets be honest, at almost any dance there is at least some level of "groping," depending on what your definition of the term is. Girls get groped in clubs all around Los Angeles and Hollywood on an hourly basis, yet those clubs continue to successfully operate. I'm not saying its right, just that its as easy for girls to be felt up on a normal dance floor as it is on one that happens to be filled with foam. If you actually feel assaulted by somebody, find out who they are and file a complaint or take legal action, don't shut down an entire event. Its a foam party, not a pitch black party, ok. You can still see people. According to this committee, next time someone robs a bank they should just cover themselves in foam before they walk up to the counter. I'm sure that would work well. OH MY GOD WHERE DID THEY GO? I guess criminals are stupid which is why they never try intelligent things like this. Actually I heard foam is one of the secret techniques ninjas used to kill people without anyone seeing them during the Ming dynasty era (can you confirm this JV?). Seriously what do they think foam is capable of. It doesn't have a mind of its own or something. Its not like the crazy alloy shit in Terminator 2 that can just meld together to form a hand by itself and grab someone. Although personally I think that would be totally sweet.

Regardless, the foam party is gone. But don't worry freshman girls / senior guys. The constantly-plotting party strategists of Sig Ep have used their hearts of gold to come up with another event that is sure to become another LMU tradition. Here's the info, stolen straight from Facebook. Also, an unnamed source tells me that if you get really high and stare at the Glow logo it really fucking trips you out, which I believe is just another reason to go to this thing.

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GLOW: A Blacklight Party
Friday, August 31, 2007 at 8:30pm
Location: Burns Back Court

NO purses, bags, or backpacks will be allowed and NO re-entry.

Tickets are $10. Come and be ready to kick the year off right! Tickets will be available at convo (Tuesdays and Thursdays between 12:00pm and 1:30pm on the Lair Patio).

For more information call--

Lucas 818 681 8311
Benet 310 422 9110

Wear white and bring your highlighters and be ready for a night of mayhem!

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So break out those highlighters that your mom bought you when you were back to school shopping and put them to actual use. Everyone look for Ian Wetzel there, he'll be the only guy that will show up with 30 girl's numbers already written on his shirt that he personally drew on himself before he came out to the party.

Comments

[rory]

mmm i saw sangay today at convo. i can't wait to grope you at ~glow~ when your "girlfriend" isn't looking.

called out sanjay

[JV]

GLOW: Less Foam, Same Amount of Groping

GLOW. Sucked.