The Top 3 Halloween Costumes SURE to piss off LMU students

Posted by John

Alright assholes. We figured what better time for YouAreSketch to come back from the dead than the night before Halloween. And since we know that  98% of the people that read this site are slackers, a lot of you might not have your costumes yet. This article isn't going to help you with that. Trust me. These costumes would make Dan Camozzi's dead-Steve Irwin outfit last Halloween look like a Power Ranger. The LMU student body would not be happy running into someone dressed up like one of these at a party. Starting from the top...

3. Racial Slur Drawing Guy

A throwback to the days when a few racist/prejudice words were written on walls in LMU dorms and it ignited a campus-wide manhunt on par with "The Fugitive." All you need for this is a giant marker and shifty eyes. Oh and you gotta be white, because come on. Things not needed for this costume but that the actual guys who draw this shit probably have: low self-esteem, minimum wage job, dislike of professional broadcast sports (except hockey). LMU hates these people with good reason, so if you dress up like this  and run around writing hate speech on random shit, expect to have a beer poured on your head. You might get wet but hey, at least you'd be on the front page of the Loyolan for the next three months.

2. SoCal Wildfire Victim

This one is sure to piss LMU students off because it hits so close to home. A number of students' families found themselves forced to evacuate their homes during the previous week's raging wildfires that swept across southern California. I was costume shopping over the weekend and saw this costume for sale at Spirit and I just shook my head. WIll these corporate pigs stop at NOTHING? Just kidding. You won't find this costume anywhere. If you want to make your own, go ahead... there's a slight chance you'll catch yourself on fire in the process, making yourself an actual burn victim. Except unlike the people unfortunate enough to really experience the SoCal fire, you would actually deserve it for being a giant prick. High five!

1. Darfur Refugee

Oh wow. I don't think there is a single issue that LMU students are more passionate about right now than Darfur. Darfur is without a doubt the "hot" social cause to be seen supporting right now (see: Facebook, Alumni mall), although that doesn't take away from the fact that it is a very real perpetual tragedy that is a source of continuing wide-spread  violence and suffering, making this costume a sure-fire bet to offend people on campus. Or just anywhere in general. This one is sure to get you at least one "Dude. Are you serious?" If you dressed up as this, not only would you be a true asshole in the purest sense of the word, but you would be going straight to hell... if there was one. But don't worry: even if that imaginary guy in the sky wouldn't strike you down, you would probably still get your ass kicked at least once. You dick.

Still confused as to what the Darfur conflict is? Read: What's Darfur Really About?

Runner up: Sanjay

LMU is barely big enough for one Sanjay, which is exactly why a clone of him walking around campus and going to parties would absolutely piss people off. Imagine running into him not eight times a day like usual, but sixteen. Required items for this costume: guitar, matching gym attire, dip, decent singing voice, rental car, thousands of wall posts, and a cut-off.

Got any other ideas for costumes that would piss off LMU students? Leave 'em in the comments.

Comments

[This is Fucking Awesome]

Dude.
I can't believe this shit.
In the words of that one guy in Team America (which we all know is the best movie ever) "You have balls. I like balls."
John, can I hang out with you and yours?
Nice one.

[Seranda Bray]

John, I would like to take a moment to first confess my undying love for you……..done. This article made me laugh so hard. Thanks for bringing back the good stuff from youaresketch.com. Also, this past weekend I saw a guy who had on a shirt with smoke coming from it and people were lighting him on fire. Apparently he was dressed up as the SoCal Wildfires. If his costume offended a person they had the opportunity to come burn a hole in his shirt. Pretty fucked up, I know.

[random]

slow clap from the back

[Tyler]

How come the racist only likes hockey? shouldn't he only like...nascar?

John is from Nor Cal. By default all racists are Canadian.

chemerinsky was the VA Tech gunman, but this is expected.....

[Jay]

Wait JV... weren't you the VT gunman too?! Oh wait...

[Aradi]

finally you douchebags updated. i was getting bored as shit rereading about sig chi's comedy night every day